The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
