I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's blow job season.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We need to get me chipped asap
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
