with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize