im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it wasn't lemon gatorade
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
