Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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