You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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