thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
please come you make the beer taste better
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
