Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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