I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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