Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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