All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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