Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
