im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
