Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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