At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i think im in europe. pls send help
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
