So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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