if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
