Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
