Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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