Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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