I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You need a sexual gate keeper
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize