Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
