Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
