If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Randomize