Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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