my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
