I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
