I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
