the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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