Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
