I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
