When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well you can't waste a boner
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
