She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize