sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
