before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
