mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
