Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
