I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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