If i come over, it means nothing
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
