That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
