Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
