I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
operation have a gay friend backfired
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
