his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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