i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
