none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
