it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize