Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
