he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
