Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
