You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
