I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
