I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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