my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
