He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
